Later that night

Half-asleep with her eyes still closed, she rolled over. Rachel encountered a cold and empty portion of where she thought James would be. A pang went through her heart.    "James?” She called out, rubbing her eyes.

“Yes.” She detected a stillness in his voice, that she had only heard when he was around others, especially at the precinct. Clarity flooded through her, she looked and saw him sitting at her desk.

“What’s the matter?” She asked sitting up, holding a blanket to her.

 
~*~*~*~

He watched her sleep for a while. What had he done, taking advantage of her after all that she had been through, she was attacked a few hours before, he asked himself angrily. He felt sick to his stomach over his actions.  As if it was bad enough he was still technically married to Barbara, sure they were separated and it had been her idea. He could never tell her about any of this, even if they end up getting a divorce. How did the prospect of that even make him feel, he wasn’t even sure.

But one thing he did know, he had never felt like this. She did something to him. He was pushing forty and she made him feel like he was twenty again.

He watched as Rachel rolled to one side. “James?” He heard her call out, the sound of her voice calling his name pulled on his heart strings or when she kissed him. He couldn’t deny that feeling. 

“Yes?” He had not meant for that to sound so cold, so detached. But it hurt him deeply to think that he could have taken advantage of her.

“What’s the matter?” He heard her ask.

He watched her sit up her long brown hair tumbling in a wild wavy mane around her shoulders. He didn’t know what to say to her.  

 “I, I’m sorry.” He mumbled not looking at her.

Taking a deep breath he got up and sat beside her on the bed, he finally looked her in the eye. “I didn’t mean to take advantage of you.”

“Oh, James you didn’t.” She threw her arms around him. “You didn’t,” She murmured into his shoulder, he hesitantly wrapped his arms around her. He felt her tighten her grip around him. Then he felt her pull back, her eyes looked misty. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. “I wanted us,” Her voice grew shaky, he saw her bottom lip tremble.

He pulled her close.

“Didn’t you want to?”

He rubbed her back. “More than you could ever know.” Then he kissed her shoulder.

 Slowly the tension seemed to ease from her. Pulling back, he cupped her face in his hands, “You are so beautiful.” He showered her face with kisses. He felt her warm breath on his face as she sighed.

“Oh James,” She mumbled, her arms tightening around him once again.

 “That would be a good idea,” she said followed closely by a yawn and a kiss on his chest. He gave her a squeeze.

Shortly afterward sleep claimed the two of them.